Duffy's Duffle Bag

Duffy is the name of a guy I saw in the park who mentioned to someone else that he is heading back to the States. So I jumped in his duffle bag. Life in the bag has been pretty good so far. It's dark of course, but I found some breath mints (which were delicious), a tiny flashlight, and I have been able to make some long distance phone calls with a phone I found. Here is a picture inside the bag.

My Cousin Vinnie

Holy guacamole! I did find myself in Germany, just like the Golden Knight said. 

Except for this is not me. It's my cousin Vincent Bugatti. He is kind of like my Evil Twin. My big, fat, non-Microsoft using, never heard of a tooth brush, sauerkraut eating evil twin. 

He and I had a falling out of sorts when his drunk wife threw herself at me. Well, she fell and knocked my plate over at a party. The last of the squid chips were on that plate! There weren't any more. None. Anyway, I started going on about things in a way that upset Vincent. ("Your wife shoes are inappropriate for this party, she should wear something with a lower center of gravity") I guess it didn't have to be that way, and I felt bad now.

I told Vincent the Golden Knight had sent me here to find him, it was meant to be and I wanted to bury the hatchet...... in his dumb, plate spilling wife's whore shoes.

Long story short, Vincent forgave me and I told him where he could score some affordable knock-offs for his wife.

I got nothing else. I going home now.

In the Market

Things to get at the market.

• Ammo
• Squid Nuggets
• Tooth paste
• Good toilet paper (not like the crap they have at the hotel)
• Duct tape
• 30 weight oil
• Febreeze Yankee Candle Scentstories
• Compass
• Toothpicks
• Ding Dongs
• Wart remover
• Wart putter-onner
• Ammo
• Bag of Funyuns
• New copy of Bon Jovi's Greatest hits
• Catcher in the Rye
• Redbull
• Clicky top Sharpie
• 6 pack of St. Pauli Girl
• Tin foil (it makes great hats and keeps aliens away while confusing the feds)

Hanging Out

This is Der Weinner Schnitzel. They take their weinners very seriously

here in Germany.

Well,

Aghhhhhhh duh,

yup ah.

Okay, I stuck my flipper in a crack and now I can't get it out.

Whack Job

Yeah, I whacked Cooper. Dumped the body over this here bridge.

I guess I can go check out that Castle now.

Me and Mr. Cooper

You will never believe who I ran into. Mr. Cooper! Him and the Mrs. are on holiday here and they invited me along to check out the local Castle. Germany is full of them. Here is a picture of us reminiscing about London.

Good times, yeah, good times.

It's weird that I would bump into the Coopers again unless.... I'm just thinking he might be Russian, or "the Russian". It's hard to believe that we we keep meeting. Maybe he was following me, and I just caught him in the act, so he's all trying to be my friend when he is really part of an international plot?

Either way, first chance I get I'm going to whack him.

Find McLovin'

I'm on the road again. Today I find myself in Nuremburg Germany. I'm in this picture. See if you can find me.

If you guessed that I am in the middle of the picture where that chick is staring right at me... then you are right! If you ever have trouble finding me in a picture, look where the people are looking. They are always looking at me, wondering about my awesomeness. They can't help it.

Erik, guten tag! B, was ist los? Ich bin sended Ihre druken Vogel zurück!

German Shoes

Chriftoph on Schmid made shoes. Good German shoes. He is the patron Saint of quality foot wear here in Dinkels Buhl. Many Germans come here to contemplate why he wore sandals when there were so many other shoe choices. Like das boots or Nike knock-off sneakers.

For those of you who wondered what 490 million dollars worth of shoes look like, check out Sarah Plummer’s closet… or this picture.

This is a very satisfied-looking German customs official Petra Lotzin, presiding over the shredding of the counterfeit Nike's. Petra is wearing some very sensible shoes, of course.

The Most Uncomfortable Seat

The Golden Knight said I would find myself in Germany. All I have found in Dinkels Buhl Germany is the most uncomfortable seat in the town square.